caramellyy

cheer up you, you, you and you
chant "this too shall pass"
if that fails
remember that we are made of dust and cells
we are minute
and the world is so much bigger than this temporary pain

Slept at 8pm last night, woke up at 7.30 am today, had big breakfast from Mcdonald's at 9 while watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off, had chocolate chip cookie dough, got online, have slightly over an hour to kill before I leave for class! My earliest class this semester starts at 12, and I end at 5 from Mondays to Thursdays with Fridays off. Perfect.

One reason I don't like watching the news is that it is depressing, I tend to live in my little bubble of denial however bad that sounds. Maybe that's the reason I'm becoming increasingly unsettled with life, the reality is that things are messed up and people are selfish, and it's getting harder to not see this everywhere. Everything that's going on in my insignificant life is so trivial to the world out there, and I am bothered by so many things from malicious gossip and self-absorption to the idea of brands, I don't understand how people can be proud of spending hundreds of dollars on something which they can get for $20 when not too far away people are poor and starving and dying, this materialism and divide makes me sad because I know it is only going to get worse. I just want to get out of here and live on a farm.

We’re all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
- Charles Bukowski

memory failing, eyesight failing, hard of hearing since five years ago .. I AM AN OLD WOMAN

It feels so comfortable talking to Isa and Vanessa, we shared so much tonight like we've been best friends for ten years

SUMMER HELL'S OVER SUMMER HELL'S OVER SUMMER HELL'S OVER!

to do:
dig up photos which I never got round to uploading
upload soundwave videos to youtube lol
create a youtube account
email my professors
HAVE FUN
finish the little prince
read more of sylvia plath's journals
clean my room
get someone to hire me
go to the library
bake with laurie
check this list in 2 weeks when school starts

just got home after 8 straight hours of studying in school, figured it was time to pack and leave when the words stopped making sense and the ache in my head got worse, now i'm home and on my bed feeling giddy, almost-feverish, and with a throat that remains sore even after 3 strepsils, and what i'd really like is to grab some pizza before drifting into a deep sleep but of course i can't, not with two approaching exams with 16 chapters worth of information each to cram into my burnt out brain

July 27 (tues) - online quiz 13 due
July 28 (wed) - online quiz 14 due, 343 exam 3
July 29 (thurs) - research paper 4 submission
July 30 (fri) - online quiz 15 due
July 31 (sat) - midterm review in school
Aug 2 (mon) - research paper 5 submission
Aug 3 (tues) - online quiz 16 due
Aug 4 (wed) - 343 final exam
Aug 5 (thurs) - 351 final exam

okay

15 DAYS TO FINALS (.. hoooly crap) I WILL SURVIVE THIS